A Beginning

So, today I have been productive. I have straightened the house and mowed the yard, front and back. I would give myself a pat on the back, but these are things that I have needed to do for the last couple of days and I just kept putting them off. I don't know why I've been procrastinating so much, it's not like I'm just now getting days off after so many long months of hard work. In fact, I've had so many days without working at all, I think, maybe, I just know there really is always tomorrow to get things done.

Generally, I am the type that likes to "pay now-play later" so this trend in my behavior is a little alarming. I love to say that I am growing and learning that I can rest and be okay with who I am. That I have learned that I am good enough just as I am and I have no obligation to do things just to please others. Unfortunately, if I really look at the situation, I still feel that pull to impress; I feel the desire to do something to make me worthy of praise. Now, I'm just stuck in this unending loop of procrastination, guilt, and then, worst of all, self-righteous justification of my faulty behavior.

So, what to do? I know that I can live a life free of condemnation and guilt for past failures, but God has given me grace, not as the great cover up for sins, but as a weapon to overcome temptation everyday! I desire to live the life described in Proverbs 31:10-12, 30 "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life....Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

I want to live a life to bring honor to God and to my husband. I've started many journeys to bettering myself with a journal entry, but this time, I am going public! Welcome to my Golden Moments.